I tell him why I am late with his meal:
I started it late because traffic was bad; he yells at me for not doing the errands sooner.
My voice is filled with intonated anger that sets him off.
His slap; my fault
I feel scared; I avert my eyes from his gaze.
His words; My fault
He takes my aversion as a sign of my guilt, so he pushes hard against the fridge.
His hand tightly on my jaw; my eyes wide with fear.
"Who is it?" he demands.
"No one..." I start to tell him, but he interrupts with an acerbic tone: "Liar, Slut, Whore, Bitch."
His reaction; My fault
Those words break my fear and unleash a torrent of anger.
Remembering all the times, I smelled perfumes that were not mine,
I coldly answer back, "I am not the lying, slutty whoring bitch here."
I see his eyes widen with rage, and say, "I am sorry, sorry, sorry."
His torture: My fault
With one forearm holding me in place, he pulls my tube top below my breasts.
Next he twists a breast hard, causing me anguish: he smiles at my distress.
In the face of pain, defiance sets in, and I spit in his face.
His rape; My fault
He slams in fist into my face, then tosses me to the floor, and tears off my clothes.
Dazed, I do not realize what is happening at first, then I scream no, please don't.
I try to fight back, but he grabs me by the hair and slams my head hard against the floor:
Again and again, until the fight goes out of me, and he penetrates me.
After he ejaculates in me, he questions me as to why I do not respect him as I should.
After all he informs me that he respects me.
His decision; My fault
Still partly stunned, I look him in the eye incredulously and say, "You respect me?
"You respect me?" He smiles, until I start to laugh at him and his words.
Laughing, I fail to see what is coming, but I suddenly feel his hands tightly around my throat.
I futilely try to break his grip or get him off of me.
Slowly I feel myself slipping away into darkness, wishing I could prevent my impending demise,
and then as I slipp into oblivion, I have one final thought:
My death; my fault.
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