Abandoned

Why did you abandon me?

I so wanted to see you;

to spend time with you,

and you were not there,

Not anywhere, no where.

I just wanted to be with you,

to have you hug me,

to play with me.

Yet, you were not there for me.

Why? Why abandon me?

I want, I demand an answer.

My questions gets no answer.

You are not here to reply

because you abandon me.

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Was It Worth It?

Hope, my friend, I see you

and appreciate you.

You have stuck by me,

while I wandered in darkness,

doubting myself, and feeling low.

But you stuck by me, and cheered me on

no matter how low I felt.

So I never gave up. Never.

I trudged through the depths of my soul,

and you were always there,

even when I did not see you;

Even when I rejected you;

Even when I did not want you around.

You stuck by me.

And now the question, "Was it worth it?"

has been answered with a simple reply

of I believe in me.

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Moving On

Moving on is not easy

when love is involved.

But I have to move on

and let us fade -

fade into the past.

I am sorry

How us has turned out.

But I am glad

for the time that I -

I had with you.

Thank you for

believing in me.

When I did not

believe in myself.

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Thank You

Are you alive?

Are you not?

I do not know.

I want to know.

But no one knows, but you.

But if you are gone,

you had lived how wanted.

And I am happy you did.

You have taught me a lot,

but that is one lesson

that I will treasure

and keep with me

for the rest of my life.

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The Pain

Water appeared in your eyes.

Never rolling down your cheek,

but it was there.

I saw the pain in your eyes.

The pain that exists in your heart

and always will

Never completely disappearing,

no matter how much time heals you.

But I am here for you - to listen to you,

any time you want to talk of your pain

that wets your eyes.

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Damn! Damn! Damn!

Damn! Damn! Damn!

I did not want to hear it,

even though I would come one day.

So I feel angry and upset,

yet no one is there to be upset at.

You are my friend- a good one -

yet you are dying,

and I feel lost and adrift.

I want to lash out,

but Death feels nothing; it just takes.

Soon it will take you,

you who I care for because you

have helped me through my life's journey.

Hence, I will help you to the end.

I will carry you within me;

however, now, I feel like hitting back,

but only air is there to hit.

And Death will neither care nor not care;

it only comes to do its job.

A job which makes me upset and angry

because I care about you more than I want to admit.

I lack words to express how I feel -

how I feel about life's unfairness and you.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

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Head, but not Heart

I can love with my head,
but not with my heart.
As I grew, I learned to shut down-
-shut down my emotions and build-
-build a box tightly locked
around my heart.
A box to stuff the pain in
without letting it out.

One day while looking at the box
and wishing I could open it up,
I looked up and saw myself
as different people, different genders,
different personalities.

Some of us approach and learn
to blend with each other,
but others stand off.
I approach one, asking them
to blend with us, but they-
-they freeze at first at first,
then they run away.
I chase after them,
and they circle back and jump
into the box where I dare not follow.
I sit by the box and wait for them.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.