but knowing I should not.
I want to stop,
but saying go on.
I feel so confused,
paralyzing myself.
I want to say no,
yet saying yes.
I follow your lead,
suppressing my feelings.
I let u use my body,
making you happy.
I ignore my body's desires,
making me unhappy inside.
I smile faux smiles of happiness,
while you smile real ones.
I have done my duty,
allowing you to fill me up.
I grant you sleep,
while wondering who am I.
I let that thought drift in my head,
fighting the emptiness inside of me.
I fill the emptiness with walls,
sealing it off from my conciousness.
I want to see what is in me,
perceiving what really is there.
I fear what is inside,
blocking it out of my mind.
I go around and around,
wondering if an answer will ever come.
I feel you stir,
filling me up again.
I reflect on me as you do that,
filling myself up with unaswered questions.
I desire answers,
yet failing to reach out.
I get dressed and leave,
walking into the unknown.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
