Monday, August 28, 2017

Fear and Doubt

Fear creates doubt

Doubt creates fear.

A cycle that goes around and around

Like a hamster wheel that never ends.

Run, run, run

So tiring, but gonna keep running.

Gotta keep the fear and doubt away.

They never disappear.

Sometimes they catch up.

Overwhelmed then confused

Finally totally black.

Continue running.

Slowly clearing, but still running.

Fear and doubt still in pursuit.

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Friday, July 28, 2017

Buried, Bubbling, and Boiling

Buried inside me, it bubbles and boils within.

What it is, I am not sure.

Do I want to know?

Part of me does; Part of me does not.

Pain, I push it down.

Wanting to ignore it, but cannot always.

So deal with what I have to.

Then rebury the rest.

This pattern repeats again and again.

Finally, I dig some up; the pain lessens.

It still bubbles and boils within me,

but with less intensity now.

Yet no matter, how much I dig it up,

it still is hot.

Some day, maybe it will congeal in the cold,

but when that day comes, I do not know.

Until then it bubbles and boils, and life goes on

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Sunday, June 25, 2017

Zombie Update

The zombie has moved on

I missed who the zombie was before their decline

The hugs, the advice, the caring, the love,

which was freely shared and appreciated.

I watched the zombie get weaker and weaker.

The years passed and I mourned for them.

Over and over mourned for them, but now,

I mourn for a final time:

remembering the good times, the laughter,

the wisdom imparted, and the love,

So hard to let the tears flow,

but that is what they would have wanted -

cry and move on with love in my heart

for the zombie who died long ago,

but lived on until last Thursday.

Rest In Peace.

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Sunday, May 28, 2017

Hug Forever

I want to hug you forever.

Letting time slip away as we embrace.

Seconds becoming minutes, becoming hours,

becoming days, becoming weeks, becoming months,

becoming years, becoming decades, becoming centuries, 

becoming millennia, becoming eons, becoming forever.

Your hugs give me reassurance and warmth

They make me feel loved, feel someone cares for me.

I feel strengthened as the frozen cold melts from my heart.

Your love gives me hope and faith that things will be better.

The chill fades as the sun gets brighter as we hug forever.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

I love you if

I love you, if you do what I say

I love you, if you do what I want

I love you, if you obey me

I love you, if you follow my orders

I love you, if you eat this

I love you, if you drink that

I love you, if you follow me

I love you, if you ....

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Friday, March 17, 2017


Wishing upon a star

for dreams that are still far.

For life is more slogging

than it is jogging.

Taking one step at a time

ignoring the grime.

Advancing at all cost

even when lost.

But mattering not how bad things are

even when stuck in a jar

Happiness is existing even when blue

for I am with you.

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Sunday, February 12, 2017

First Date with the Hunk

I do not have much, but the hunk has asked me out.

Finally, the doorbell rings

I anxiously answer the door. :)

'Hello Rex.'  I smile and almost squeal with delight.

'Hello there,' he replies with a smile and asks if I am ready.

'I am' and then we are off.

'We're we going?' I ask.

'Just see some nature.'

I smile and just relax and watch the town become woods on either side.

We go about 10 miles from town and park in a wooded area

Staying in the car, I roll down my window and listen to the crickets and other sounds.

I look out the passenger window and look into the woods.

This is nice I tell him.

He moves closer to me and start to wrap his arms around me.

Feels good until his hands stop on my breasts.

'No' I tell him, so he drops his hands lower.

'NO, NO, NO,' I tell him and turn to face him

'Why not? Everyone else is doing it!' is the reply

'Then find everyone else and do her,' is my angrily reply.

'Put out or get out' is the reply.

I get out and start walking to home.

'What are you doing?' is an astonished reply.

'I do not have much, but I got myself respect, and I am not giving it away to you.'

I say to myself as much as to him.

With each step, the town gets closer.

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