Damn! Damn! Damn!

Damn! Damn! Damn!

I did not want to hear it,

even though I would come one day.

So I feel angry and upset,

yet no one is there to be upset at.

You are my friend- a good one -

yet you are dying,

and I feel lost and adrift.

I want to lash out,

but Death feels nothing; it just takes.

Soon it will take you,

you who I care for because you

have helped me through my life's journey.

Hence, I will help you to the end.

I will carry you within me;

however, now, I feel like hitting back,

but only air is there to hit.

And Death will neither care nor not care;

it only comes to do its job.

A job which makes me upset and angry

because I care about you more than I want to admit.

I lack words to express how I feel -

how I feel about life's unfairness and you.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Head, but not Heart

I can love with my head,
but not with my heart.
As I grew, I learned to shut down-
-shut down my emotions and build-
-build a box tightly locked
around my heart.
A box to stuff the pain in
without letting it out.

One day while looking at the box
and wishing I could open it up,
I looked up and saw myself
as different people, different genders,
different personalities.

Some of us approach and learn
to blend with each other,
but others stand off.
I approach one, asking them
to blend with us, but they-
-they freeze at first at first,
then they run away.
I chase after them,
and they circle back and jump
into the box where I dare not follow.
I sit by the box and wait for them.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.