Thank You

Thank you for teaching me how to live

Thank you for opening my eyes to a different world

Thank you for getting me to start smelling the roses

Thank you for showing me a different path

Thank you for caring about me

Thank you for being there for me

Thank you for standing up to me

Thank you for loving me





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Why?

Why cannot I fit in?

Why do I not understand what goes on around me?

Why do you love me for me?

I do love you.

You love me back unconditionally.

I am so unused to that.

You make me feel like I fit in.

You make me understand what goes on around me.

You love me for me.

Still a hole exists in my soul.

Your love covers it.

It keeps me from getting lost in there

Now I just want to go with you:

Walk in the sun together holding hands,

and not worrying about answers to my questions.

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Warmth

I live in darkness,

yet I see it not.

The darkness is my friend,

yet is lacks compassion.

My friend envelops me,

and I find that comforting.

Me who is alone,

even with my friend.

Alone in the world,

which is full of people

The world beckons warmth,

which I pretend to have.

The warmth is light,

and I see it.

The light makes me happy,

so towards it I go.

Happy I feel,

for a change that feels good.




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Henry

The picture has been taken with Henry high in the background.

I get up and start walking home remembering Henry, who I had known for years.

His mom had cleaned our house for years, so we knew each other from the time we could remember.

We were horses of different colors, but as kids that did not matter; we were friends.

As we got older, we did not see each other as much for we to our assigned schools.

Years went by, and though we still enjoyed the other's company, we saw each other less and less.

Henry did not come by as much, and I never made the effort to see him.

I wanted to see him, but I knew what the others of my kind would say -

and thought of people like Henry, so I kept quiet about our friendship.

One day, I stopped by my mom's around noon, and Henry was there talking to his mom.

Henry and I then caught up on old times, or as much as we could in 4 hours.

Then Henry left with his mom, and after a few more words of love, I left to go home.

Passing by the park, I asked someone passing by what was going on.

He told me that they had caught the man who had defiled John Jones' daughter.

The incident he added had taken place at 1:00 pm this very day and I should come -

come to see justice being done.

So I went and, as I approached, heard a voice, heard only a few hours earlier, saying 'I am innocent'

over and over.

The crowd was riled up wanting justice - their justice - to be done

The victim voiced the truth, but I kept quiet.

Soon the justice was done, and so those of us who were there, turned around and a group picture was

taken that was soon to be made into postcards that were to be mailed all over this country.

The postcard showing in the foreground,the guilty smiling; while in the background, the innocent

swung from a branch in a tree in the woods.

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Feeling Lost

Feeling lost on life's path.

Light is still there because you are there.

There to help me to guide me.

To show me the path that I do not know.

You allow me to find my own path,

and making sure the light is on.

So much better than blackness and fog.

I smile and you smile back.

I am still feeling lost on life's path,

but you will always support me.

Still lost but hopeful. Smile.

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My Friends

Alone in the box

Safe, secure, comfortable.

It is nice, albeit dark and lonely.

The darkness is my friend;

the loneliness is my friend too.

They make me feel safe and secure.

I am alone in  the box.

Protected from the outside world.

My friends guard me.

They guard and protect me at a cost that is ignored.




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You Told Me

You're dying you told me.

The doctors have given you only a few months,

and you are alone.

I wish you were here, so I could help you these final few months.

I would make sure you are housed, fed, and loved.

Maybe we would marry like we have talked about.

You only had an im, and you have been on it lately.

I miss you, I love you.

I want to cry but I cannot.

Are you safe or homeless?

Are you fed or hungry?

Are you loved or unloved?

I hope those questions are yes for you, but I no not.

I want to help you to die with dignity.

To die with someone who loves you and you love back.

Even if I never hear from you again, you will always be in my heart.

All I want is for you to die with dignity,

and if I would be apart of that my wish will come true.






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Better

Maybe a little better now.

Life has not been so easy recently,

but your friendship helps me.

It helps me to move forward;

to keep smiling and laughing.

But what I appreciate the most

is that you listen to me

when I feel alone and afraid.

After telling you my secrets,

that you will keep, I feel better.

Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.

But always after getting a hug from you,

I feel glad to be alive.





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The Door

Unexpectedly, the phone rings, and he asks if he can stop by.

Yes, my voice says after listening to my heart.

My mind inquires of my heart 'is this right?  You know he has someone.'

'Does he really?' comes the reply. 'Maybe he wants me.'

My mind whirls not only with possibilities of love, marriage, and family,

but with me destroying something he has (may have.)

What should my decision be? What door is right for me, for us?

'He and me are the right decision' tells my heart.

'Are you so sure?' comes the reply.  'Do you want him to change you for someone else one day?'


'He will not. He loves me now and forever'

A cold silence is the reply.

Time ticks slowly by as no knock is heard.

My heart tells my mind 'maybe you have a point.'

My mind answers 'maybe you do too.'

They go on talking about what is the right decision.

Suddenly a rap on the door interrupts my wondering of what to do.





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As my heart and mind move toward the door to open it, they choose a door to go through.

True Friends

That's what true friends are for.

To be there when you are happy

sharing your joy and good news

To be there when you are sad

sharing your frustrations, and bad news.

To listen to you without judgement.

No matter whether what you say is good or bad.

To be happy for you, and to cry with you.


For better or for worse, true friends will stand by you,


and you will stand by them. 


So realize who they are and spend time with them, 


so your friendship does not fade into the past.


No matter how you feel, let those friendships bring joy to you


because without true friends, is life worth living?





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Him or Her?

He said ....

She said ....

Each told me the opposite of what the other said.

I like them and want to believe both their stories.

But how can both be true? 

Are both wrong?

Are they embellished to make themselves look better or the other worse?

Each want me to side with them.

Do I side with her or him?

Why do I only have these two choices?

Why cannot I see that I have another choice.

I can stay neutral and be there for both of them.

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The Call

You called me and listened to me.

You told me I was sounding down.

I denied it and told you I was ok.

I went for a walk and realized you were right.

Took a deep breath, while walking and changed my dreams.

Changed them to happy ones.

You answered when I called you back.

I told you that you were right.

Your friendship gives me hope.

.

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Thank You

Are you alive?

Are you not?

I do not know.

I want to know.

But no one knows, but you.

But if you are gone,

you had lived how wanted.

And I am happy you did.

You have taught me a lot,

but that is one lesson

that I will treasure

and keep with me

for the rest of my life.

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Damn! Damn! Damn!

Damn! Damn! Damn!

I did not want to hear it,

even though I would come one day.

So I feel angry and upset,

yet no one is there to be upset at.

You are my friend- a good one -

yet you are dying,

and I feel lost and adrift.

I want to lash out,

but Death feels nothing; it just takes.

Soon it will take you,

you who I care for because you

have helped me through my life's journey.

Hence, I will help you to the end.

I will carry you within me;

however, now, I feel like hitting back,

but only air is there to hit.

And Death will neither care nor not care;

it only comes to do its job.

A job which makes me upset and angry

because I care about you more than I want to admit.

I lack words to express how I feel -

how I feel about life's unfairness and you.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

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Our Friendship Is Short of Time

I love to hear your voice, to listen to you talk.
Often after hanging up, I feel better.
And you tell me you feel the same.

I hope to meet you one day, but time is short.
Our friendship will not far off, be just a memory.
A memory in me, for life is short for you.

Much younger you are, but life's final chapter
is facing you squarely. No way to hide,
no way to avoid it. Sometimes, I cry inside.

I would love to meet you and see your smile,
then give you a great big hug, and then
get one of each from you.

We have talked about meeting, but money,
like our time of friendship, is short.
Therefore, we strive to enjoy what we have.

Hence, we want to enjoy our friendship,
so I will listen to you and help you,
as you will listen to me and help me.

You are and have been a great friend,
even though our friendship has not been long.
But it has been good for me and you.

Yet even though our friendship is short of time
here on earth, you will continue to live
in my heart, so our friendship will go on.

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Towards the Light

Out, out of the tunnel
and in the light.

It feels strange
not being in the dark.

The darkness was my security;
its hopelessness was my friend.

But as friends go,
it was fickle.

It wanted what it wanted,
and gave nothing back really.

Like an energy-vampire, it drained me,
and then complained there was nothing left.

However, no matter how dark it was
I believed there was light ahead.

So onward my legs went.
Sometimes slow; sometimes fast.

They went forward in the direction
of the light to the end of the darkness.

My fickle friend was scared,
and its fear scared me.

Yet neither its fear
nor my fear stopped me.

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Having Fun, Then ....

I thought about you the other day, my online friend.

Wondered why I hadn't heard seen you in a while,

and hoped all was ok with you.

I was with friends having fun, enjoying the chat going on.

Then in a nearby conversation, I heard your name.

I was having fun, then heard you had died of a stroke, maybe.

You were young, under 30.

I had no idea what you looked like, and didn't really care.

It was nice just to chat with you, to share stories, lives, and ideas.

After getting home, I facebooked you, so now I know what you look like,

who your friends are, who cared about you besides me.

But what you looked like don't matter.

For what I miss is your heart.

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