Be Me

 Dad

I got to quit carrying you.

You failed in so many ways.

You could never be there for me.

  I wanted you to be there for me,

but you never could. 

I need to accept that and go forward.

You never tried to meet me where I needed to be met.

You wanted to me to you at where you wanted me to meet you.

I am still trying to meet you there, even though, you passed years ago.

I need to go forward on my own without carrying you.

Put you on the side of the road, little by little.

Walk with my shoulders and head high, 

looking forward to the future with you behind me.

I can do it.

I will do it.

I can be me. 

Be what I want to be,

who I want to be.

 

Scared

 Scared: 

I am so scared.

Scared of change.

Scared of the unknown. 

I want to control.

I wish to change life to how I want it.

But life does not work like that.

We have to bend.

We have to change directions.

Lose things we want at times.

 Lose things we have at times.

Life is about change.

Adapting to change.

Moving on and not giving up.

It is so hard at times.

But life is ok.

As long as the moving on continues.

 

One Step

 Resilience keeps me going;

however, fatigue sets in.

I do not want to give up,

yet I do not move forward.

It's ok if I am.

I need to keep going even step.

And the next comes a day or a week later.

Moving on no matter how slow is good.

Going to fast is not good as too much I miss.

I am ok.  

Breathe deep.

Remember to give myself a hug.

Then move on one step at a time.