Without conscious knowing, I feel the hole within me.
Pain is in it, but I block it out;
Lonely, so lonely, radiates out of the hole.
Ignoring that feeling instead of exploring it,
letting you touch me to cover that hole;
Feeling your hands under my clothes before they are removed.
Unconsciously, the hole is papered over;
Pain does not seep out; it feels good.
Touching each other skin-to-skin.
Wanting you but do not know why;
Just know I do because feeling happier.
Random thoughts of was one taken this morning or yesterday?
Neither of us has one? That's ok
Do not know and do not care.
Smiling at you; at what we are doing.
The pain pushes to get out.
Pushed back by my happiness,
We get as close as possible,
and I happily accept your gift.
Afterwards, lying next to you, happiness fills me;
but the paper starts to tear and the pain slowly slinks out.
Happiness is slowly disappearing till next time
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