Together

 Breathing slows down to normal.

Reflection sets in as I look at his face.

'I did not plan on this.'

From his expression and nod,

 neither did he.

' I do not know what happened.

My emotions got the best of me'

'Me too' he says quietly.

'What if I...'

He puts a finger on my lips.

 I listen to him.

'Thank you for saying that.'

Welcome is his reply.

I  do not feel so alone now.

We are in this together.

We get dressed and go for walk,

enjoying the day together.

Letting the future take care of itself.

 

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

 

Whatever

I am allergic to fish

But I do love you

I do not want to have a reaction

sigh

Whatever you want, dear.


Why do you never do things with me?

But I do love you

I want to go out with you

Sigh

Whatever you want, dear.


Why do we always have to eat meat?

But  I do love you

Let's just have a salad and some veggies

Sigh

Whatever you want dear.


 I just want to cuddle

But I do love you

just hold each other

Sigh

Whatever you want, dear.


I want us to use birth control now

But I do love you

I want kids later, not now

Sigh

Whatever you want, dear.



I feel sad

But, I do love you

You want a smile?

Sigh

Whatever you want, dear.










This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

I Want

What do I want?

I do not know.

I always defer to the other.

Really, I just go along.

Yes, whether I want to or not.

My happiness does not matter.

Only yours does.

 How do I know what I want?

What does it matter?

My feelings do not matter.

What if you say no?

I just want you to tell me what to do.

Ok, ok.  I will tell you.

You will not be angry, will you?ant

Good. I want, I want...

I want to lie next to you.

To feel you heart beating.

To have you hold me.

Nothing else.

Thank you
















This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Oh? Oh. Oh!

It's normal.

That's the way it should be.

That's the way it was done.

That's the way I learned normal.

But just because you learned it as normal,

does not mean, it is right.

 Oh? Oh. Oh!

My god, you are right!

I am so sorry,

but sorry does not undo the memories

of the pain that I have inflicted on you.

I hate the one who taught me this way,

yet I do the same,

so how do I feel about me?

How do I break this cycle?

I have to do it myself

for only I can change me.

 However, it will be easier with you at my side.


Nevertheless, you want a break to reflect on what you want.

I understand and accept.

I hope you come back, but that is not my decision to make.

Therefore, love will be set free, and if our love still exists,

it will come back.

If not, I will move on after wishing you the best.

That is normal.





This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

The past for me is like a prison

Where the key has long since been thrown away.

But I want to be outside these walls

Where love, touch, and fresh air exist.

What are they like

For dim memories of them exist.

Exist still?

Who knows.

All I desire is to be free

Where long forgotten memories can rediscovered.

And have new memories formed



This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Not Really

Just want to withdraw.

Just want to be alone.

Not because I want to withdraw.

Not because I want to be alone.

It is comforting for me.

Isolation is too much my friend.

A false friend it is.

Not really there for me.

Not like people I care about.

People who ask how I am.

People who mean it.

People who will give me a hug when asked.

People who care about me.

They are there.

I just need to let them in.




This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Together

Fear slowly envelops me.

I used to ignore it;

pretend it does not exist.

But you are here,

reminding me, I am ok.

My fear is mine to admit or ignore.

I look at you and feel your touch.

My breathing slows.

I focus on your words;

I feel your touch.

Your love and caring brighten my life.

And the fear ebbs.

We walk together in sunshine, smiling.

Twinkles of love in our eyes.




This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Why Change?

I want to be perfect.

Never make a mistake.

But that is not reality

So instead my anxiety flairs up.

I dictate instead of communicate.

You get upset.

Our communication breaks down.

I beat myself up.

We talk.

Things are fine again.

How long will you put up with this?

Why cannot I change?

To accept myself for who I am.

Release my feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside.

Change is not easy.

But it can be done.

Yes, it can.

I want to change.

I will change.

I will do it for me.

I will do it for us

For I want us to be happy together.

For I love you.






This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Why? Why? Why?

Why do you treat me so well?

Why are you so gentle with me?

Why have you been so loving to me?


Why do you care about me so much?

Why are you so happy with me?

Why have you been so good to me?


Why do you love me so sweetly?

Why are you so nice to me?

Why have you been so happy with me?


I love you so much.

I am so happy with you.

I have asked you to marry me.






This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

So why ask me?

What do I want?

I do not know.

I just want to please you.

To give you want you want.

That is all: no more; no less.

So why ask me what I want?

I love you too.

Not used to others pleasing me.

Only give; not take.

That is what I was taught.

So why ask me what I want?

I care about you too.

Yes, I will finish what you want me too:

"I want to ....

I do not know.

What if I say something wrong?

What if you get mad at me?

What if you put me down?

Will you hit me?

Will you force me to do something?

Should I just smile a faux smile?

So why ask me what I want?

You mean the world to me too.

Cannot believe you care about me.

Care about my feelings.

Care about what I want.

This is what I want.

I want to ....

Welcome.

Let's go now.





This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Please Don't Go

Please don't go, I almost cry.

Tears wanting running down my face.

Please stay.

Do not want to admit that you will be gone forever soon.

I love you!

Please, please, please, just....

Sobs overcome my words.

Knew this day was coming.

A day I would be left alone.

I do not want to be without you.

You are my life.

I love you more than I can tell you.

You have done so much for me.

And..and. and...

I cannot talk as I hear a last breathe.

I break down and start collapsing crying

alone now, all alone, I feel.

Then two strong arms grab me and help me to my bedroom.

They lay me down on my bed as I continue to cry.

And as I cry myself to sleep, his voice soothing me.

Words of love are whispered into my ear.

'You are not alone, I will always be with you no matter what'

'Your mom will live on in your heart.'

'When we have a daughter, we will name her after your mom'

I let his words echo in my head even after waking up later.





This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Standing Up for Me

What do you mean by 'I'm lucky that you like it?'

What would have done to me if you did not like it?

What will you do to me some time in the future to me, if you do not like it?

It was a joke, an effing joke you say?

Do not dismiss my feelings, if you do not like them.

I am angry, and it is my right to voice my anger.

I cannot force you to listen to me, but I hope you do

Now you have to stand up and intimidate me?

I can stand up too and not let myself be intimidated by your show of dominance.

Yes, you are stronger than me and can overpower me, but I will not be intimated by you

What are you going to do?

I can see you are angry, deciding what to do.

You have three choices:

1) You can just walk out of here and not come back.

2) You can do what you want to me, and I can add my name to the Me Too hashtag.

3) We can talk and listen to each other and work things out.


What do you want to do?







This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.