No, I am not.

No I am not.
Yes, you are.

I am not!
But you have...

No, I cannot be.
enough symptoms...

stop! stop! stop!
to show you are.

I do not want to be.
I am here for you.

I really do not.
You are ok.

But I am.
A smile for you.

I am scared.
I care for you.

Yes, I am ok.
Hug you tight.

.

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Tic Toc

'Are you sure nothing will happen?'

'It has not so far, right?'

Tic Toc, Tic Toc, Tic Toc, the clock moves closer to midnight.

'This is so good to do it this way.'

'Yes it is.'

Tic Toc, Tic Toc, Tic Toc, the clock moves closer to the tell tolling.

'Risk makes it so much more better.'

'Yes, without risk, it is no fun.'

Tic Toc, Tic Toc, Tic Toc, the clock moves even closer to the bell tolling.

'Do you want to meet tonight?'

'Oh yes, of course'

Tic Toc, Tic Toc, Tic Toc, the clock moves still closer to the bell tolling.

'Let's do it while we have time together.'

'Always time for that.'

Tic Toc, Tic Toc, Tic Toc, the clock moves ever closer to the bell tolling.

'Nothing bad ever happens to us.'

'That is so true.'

Tic Toc, Tic Toc, Tic Toc, the bell finally tolls for those who think it never would.

.

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My Mom, the Zombie

Her body lives on; Her memory has not.

She goes on her daily business, yet remembers no one.

She loves to see us and hear us; however, does she really remember us?

She has become a zombie - alive, yet not alive. Breathing in the air, but not remembering, the sweetness of it.

Feeling joy at the sound of a familiar voice, but the joy is quickly forgotten once the call is finished.

She kept getting worse over the years, and we could do nothing to stop it or even slow it. Her we watched getting worse and worse, becoming more and more a zombie. Till now she is one.

She wants to see me and asks each time when I talk to her. She forgets I have neither the time nor the money, and I do not mind her asking me.

Her requests though hurt me because she has a zombie's memory.

She will see me one day and then forget I was there.

Her heart though will remember I was there. For her love for those who love her still lives on in her heart unforgotten.

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Leaving Stress Behind

Stress is good to a point,

but at times it overwhelms me

and leaves me feeling isolated

and lonely and trapped.

Giving up is not in my vocabulary,

but the idea of it rattles in my head at times.

Nevertheless, no matter, how down my psyche is,

deep down, I struggle to come out of the isolation,

and despair, and break free into the warmth

of friendship and smiles and joy.

.

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Questions

I have so many unasked questions that I want to ask.

Sometimes, they are best left unsaid,

and sometimes, having said one, I am taken to task.

So some questions now are on my lips but dead.

Questions can be inquisitive, helpful, or simply kind.

I like to always to understand and learn,

for that improves and sharpens my mind.

And as I ask a question, another one starts to churn.

.

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Are You OK?

I know you survived the op intially,

but what about now?

Quiet you have remained since that one day,

a few days ago. Silence. Calls not answered nor returned.

Are you ok or did you take a turn for the worse?

I wish I knew. Knew how you were.

That's all I want to know. How are you?

And when can I hear your sweet voice again?

Or will I never hear it again?

.

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Chapters Flowing

A chapter is soon to close,

and another one will start.

Emotions are mixed:

happiness, fear, and nerves.

Wanting to move on, but have to wait.

Looking back on the risks that I have taken,

I smile and breath deep.

Focus on lowering my anxiety,

and make plans for the future.

Life goes on and I flow with it,

while steering a path for me.

.

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The Call

You called me and listened to me.

You told me I was sounding down.

I denied it and told you I was ok.

I went for a walk and realized you were right.

Took a deep breath, while walking and changed my dreams.

Changed them to happy ones.

You answered when I called you back.

I told you that you were right.

Your friendship gives me hope.

.

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Change

Change is coming.

I can see it looming on the horizon.

It scares me; I feel fear, coldness, and unsure.

I want to crawl into hole and feel safe, warm, and secure.

But holes only give the illusion of safety, warmth, and security.

I can only fit myself in there; not my friends.

My friends, who are they, and where are they?

I am in my hole alone, fearful, and insecure.

Change is coming; its hoofbeats are getting louder and louder.

I carefully stick my head out and decide on my next move.

.

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Your Eyes

I remember your eyes.

Your beautiful doe eyes.

I liked you and you liked me,

and your big, brown eyes are what

I remember of you.

Your smile reflected your inner beauty,

but not as much as your lovely doe eyes.

We wanted to be together,

but neither of us were ready for one,

so years have gone by, and we have gone our separate ways.

However, when I close my eyes, and think of you,

I remember your big, beautiful, lovely, brown eyes.

.

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For a Change

The sea is calming down after years of upheaval.

I am not sure if this will last or how long;

however, I will enjoy it while it lasts.

The waves bid me to come in,

but I simply watch them.

For a change, the sky is blue,

instead of dark and stormy.

I breath the clean air in,

and relax by watching the birds.

.

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This Dream

The end is in sight, and so soon I will achieve this dream.

Though I must not be lax and lose my focus.

But achieving dreams are scary for I will have to move on.

I do look forward to moving on, but the unknown awaits me.

Nevertheless, I shall not falter; I shall not lose faith.

Once I achieve this dream, I will set a new one to obtain.

.

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No One with Me

Sometimes, I wish you were here

to help me and comfort me

when I need them both.

But no one is here

and I do the best that I can.

I move on and remember

that good times,

but I do not live in the past;

I just enjoy it, and look forward

to days which are filled with sun

and maybe you too, but likely not.

.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.