Middle Ground

Feel so lost

Want to control everything 

Want to control nothing

 Where is the middle ground?

You will do want I want
I will do what you want

Where is the middle ground? 

Go forward

Go back

Where is the middle ground?

I have to find it

I can find it

Where is the middle ground?

When to control

When to not control

Where is the middle ground?

I have to search

Not depend on someone else

Where is the middle ground?





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Thank You

Thank you for teaching me how to live

Thank you for opening my eyes to a different world

Thank you for getting me to start smelling the roses

Thank you for showing me a different path

Thank you for caring about me

Thank you for being there for me

Thank you for standing up to me

Thank you for loving me





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Breeze and Ocean

You are an ocean breeze: fresh and clean

You are an ocean wave:gently rolling

You are the breeze and the waves
 
You spread joy and happiness with each sea breeze and wave

You have always been there for me

Refreshing the senses and clearing obstacles in the way

Senses that feel the breeze more intensely now

Senses that feel the path without stumbling

Happiness you bring with each gentle breeze and each rolling wave

















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Moving On With Life

Anxiety has run my life

Never realized it

Until now

Learning to let it go

Not so easy

But doing it

It feels good

Enjoying the lack of tension

Hard to stay relaxed

But learning how to do it

Happy to be living without it









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Letting Go

Isolated.

A word that describes my years growing up;

Part of a family, but apart from them.
 
Wanting to be a part of the family;

however, never felt a part of them.

Now isolation is not what I want;

nevertheless, I do not let go of it.

I want to, but how?

I want to fight the past,

instead of letting go.

Let go of the pain, of the past.

Learn to live for now.

Breathe in the present

and exhale the past.

Then just put one foot in front

of the other towards the future












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Yes/No; Stop/Go

I want you,

but knowing I should not.

 I want to stop,

but saying go on.

I feel so confused,

paralyzing myself.




I want to say no,

yet saying yes.

 I follow your lead,

suppressing my feelings.

I let u use my body,

making you happy.

I ignore my body's desires,

making me unhappy inside.

I smile faux smiles of happiness,

while you smile real ones.

I have done my duty,

allowing you to fill me up.

I grant you sleep,

while wondering who am I.

I let that thought drift in my head,

fighting the emptiness inside of me.

I fill the emptiness with  walls,

sealing it off from my conciousness.

I want to see what is in me,

perceiving what really is there.

I fear what is inside,

blocking it out of my mind.

I go around and around,

wondering if an answer will ever come.

I feel you stir,

filling me up again.

I reflect on me as you do that,

filling myself up with unaswered questions.

I desire answers,

yet failing to reach out.

I get dressed and leave,

walking into the unknown.









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Whatever

I am allergic to fish

But I do love you

I do not want to have a reaction

sigh

Whatever you want, dear.


Why do you never do things with me?

But I do love you

I want to go out with you

Sigh

Whatever you want, dear.


Why do we always have to eat meat?

But  I do love you

Let's just have a salad and some veggies

Sigh

Whatever you want dear.


 I just want to cuddle

But I do love you

just hold each other

Sigh

Whatever you want, dear.


I want us to use birth control now

But I do love you

I want kids later, not now

Sigh

Whatever you want, dear.



I feel sad

But, I do love you

You want a smile?

Sigh

Whatever you want, dear.










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